I am sure for those who read our blog this may come as a surprise and to some it will not. After many weeks of meeting with my counselor she put me up to a little challenge and that was coming face to face with my depression. She wanted me to write to someone what life was like before, and how life is now. I really struggle with doing this but after much thought blogging it was going to be my way of sharing. Many of you have wonder where my blogging has been and this may shed some light.
Ever since I had Kadee in January life has been different, being a mom has been so much fun and I have enjoyed having Kadee part of my life. Thoughts in my head have been crazy and it was what I thought came with being a mom. After months of keeping everything in side I lost it one night at work. It was like having a huge zit that just kept getting bigger and bigger and all the sudden it broke. I began the process of getting help, because the life I new was not how life was suppose to be. In my head my baby had died many times I had planned her funeral to a T. That was life. I had not even told my husband of what was going on for fear I would be put in some type of institution which was something I did not want. I was afraid of losing Kadee. After some time away from work and with the help of meds and a great counselor I am the mom I have always wanted to be, and life is the way I was hoping it to be.
I have the best husband and family anyone could ever have. I love them so much. I have returned to work and life is getting back to how it should be. I look forward to the weekend away and visiting my family in Fillmore. Thanks babe for everything I love you!
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11 comments:
I am glad you are doing better and maybe I need to get the name of your counselor... you know us ED girls, we are always attracting Drama into our lives.
I am so glad things are going better for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help; I am right next door. I would love to take Kadee for a few hours so you can have some "me" time. Call me.
Awe, Mel, that's scary. Good to see you getting help. I go visiting teaching to a girl whose baby was born in February and she's going through the same thing. Kind of changes all those preconceptions about mental illness, doesn't it.
Girl. I'm so proud of you for getting help. So many people think that counseling is something only for "weak" people but I think it's the other way around. It is so helpful. I went for several months before Ruby was born and it was the best thing I ever did. Good job. I think the other thing is that after having a baby you DO feel crazy. There are so many hormones and emotions it's suffocating. And I'm pretty sure ever new mom experiences it to a degree. I know what you mean when you said you just thought that this was how life is now-- it's hard to know if it really is normal or beyond the point. That's really scary though. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with that. I had pretty bad anxiety after Ruby and that was bad enough. I am always good for a chat, if you EVER need someone to talk to. Keep hanging in there. You're doing awesome! Loves!!
I'm so glad that you are doing better! I'm proud of you for getting help and admitting it to people. Most girls just act life everything is normal. We are living in West Valley so we definitely need to go to lunch one of these days. Can't wait to see you!
I am sorry! Being a mom is so hard at times, but it is the best, too! It is crazy after you become a mom your whole identity changes! It is hard to find yourself again. Hang in there, i looks like you are on the right track.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I support you. You are a GREAT Mom! For me this year has been a huge transition following the birth my baby in January. The best and revisiting some of the hardest moments. I appreciate your thoughts.
Melissa...you are awesome. Thanks for sharing, most people who struggle with mental health, don't do anything about it. Your family is lucky to have you, and lets be honest, what mom doesn't feel like a total failure most days??? I do, but the point is that you keep trying harder.
I am glad that you are doing better! I am proud that you were able to admit it and get some help!
I was so bummed that we weren't home when you were up by our house. Lunch date soon so we can catch up? For real this time?
Mel...I am glad you are doing better. I had a time similar to that after Nicholas. I didn't want to admit it either, and it took me a long time, but I am SO glad I finally went to the doctor. I am sorry you had to go through that...I'm sure it was horrible. I hope things keep going well!
I had no idea that you were having these struggles. Way to go for being able to admit and get help. Not an easy thing to do. I hope that things continue to go well for you. Becoming a mother is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I can kind of relate.
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